People & Organisational Development

Managing and Supporting Colleagues Experiencing Domestic Abuse

As a manager your role is not to solve the problem directly.  You are not expected to be an expert in domestic abuse or to act as a counsellor.   Instead, your responsibility is to support your colleagues by helping them access appropriate support and by showing them empathy and understanding.

Managers can use the following guide if a colleague shares that they are experiencing domestic abuse:

1.  Make sure that the conversation takes place in a safe and private place. If you have no space in your working environment and it is practical and reasonable to do so you could suggest meeting in a Safe Space.

2.  Acknowledge the courage of your colleague and how difficult it must be to talk.

3.  Ensure the confidentiality of any disclosure. Information shared should only be passed on to others if absolutely necessary for providing help and support, and only with the explicit prior agreement of the colleague who has made the disclosure. However, exceptions to confidentiality may arise in specific circumstances, including:

• An imminent threat to life.
• Harm to children.
• A direct threat to the University.

If you believe any of these exceptions apply, contact the police immediately by calling 999 and follow their advice on the next steps.  To learn more information on what to do in an emergency situation read our Emergency and Crisis Support webpages.  

It is crucial to recognise that individuals who disclose their experiences are often at increased risk. This heightened risk may explain why many people remain in abusive relationships. Reporting the matter to the police on someone else's behalf, especially without their consent, can further escalate this risk. Such situations must be handled with the utmost care and sensitivity.

4.  Let them know you will take notes (it’s important to document a disclosure conversation in case it is needed as evidence.

5.  Be prepared for your colleague to be upset and tearful. 

6.  Don’t be judgemental. Avoid language that suggests blame or fault or questions like ‘Why don’t you leave?’ or ‘Why haven’t you told anyone before?' 

7.  Allow plenty of time for them to speak. 

8.  Don’t ask them for proof of the abuse. 

9.  Ask them if they have full access to their pay. 

10.  If they want to report the perpetrator to the police, assist them in doing this and your notes from the conversation should be given to the police. 

11.  Discuss what next steps might be appropriate to make sure they remain safe. This may include seeking input from Campus Security in the development of a . Often survivors of domestic abuse have developed their own safety plan and have been managing risk for a long period and can be seen as ‘experts in their own situation’, therefore it is important to note that when an individual is thinking of leaving their situation they are at most risk of serious harm and it may be then that they require most support.

12.  Agree how they would prefer to communicate (this is important in the instances of coercive control, as abusive individuals may monitor phones, social media, emails etc. Ensure you communicate in a way that is safe for the individual and that you have the consent of your colleague to forward on any details of support resources before you signpost them to the internal and external support provided.

13.  Explore time off work if your colleague needs it to manage practical arrangements such as legal or accommodation issues, deal with family demands or attend medical appointments. Use your discretion and judgement to decide whether this time should be paid or unpaid or a combination of both. Reassure your colleague that if they are taking emergency leave then they will not hit an attendance review point trigger.

Practical things you can do to help:

As a manager, there are many ways you can support a colleague experiencing domestic abuse without overstepping into trying to fix or resolve the issue. These include:

DOs

 

• Explore time off work if your colleague needs it to manage practical arrangements such as legal or accommodation issues, deal with family demands or attend medical appointments. Use your discretion and judgement to decide whether this time should be paid or unpaid or a combination of both. Reassure your colleague that if they are taking emergency leave then they will not hit an attendance review point trigger.

• Allow your colleague to time to make important calls, or where possible the use of a University telephone - especially if they are concerned about conversations being tracked by their abuser.

• Discuss alternative working arrangements with your colleague such as temporary change in hours, workload or location if appropriate.

• Discuss reasonable work adjustments with your colleague that will give them additional reassurance. Do what is reasonable and practical.  Examples of practical adjustments might be:-

• Screening or diverting phone calls and email messages.
  • Making arrangements for them not to work alone or in an isolated area.
  • Checking their emergency contact details are correct.
  • Giving them access to an alternative entrance or exit from work, or a different location of work.
  • Arranging to check in with them regularly/daily if they are isolated and working from home.

• Make sure they have a copy or access to the University’s Domestic Abuse Guidance and can access specialist helplines and websites if they need them. This might include allowing them to have private access to a computer.

• Reminding them to download and use the SafeZone app to enhance their safety of campus.

• Help them update their bank details or change their password for accessing People XD if you know that the abuse is financial.

• Highlight the full range of Wellbeing Support and Counselling opportunities offered by the University by encouraging colleagues to access the Health and Wellbeing Hub.

DON’Ts

• Do not contact or confront the abuser.

• Do not force colleagues to accept support.

• Do not adopt the role of counsellor or support worker.

• Do not put yourself or other colleagues in a dangerous situation.

• If you have received a report from a colleague/team member and are unsure what to do, please review our additional guidance if the report made to you relates to: 
  • sexual harassment/sexual violence
  • other forms of bullying, harassment or discrimination

Looking after yourself

Sometimes, conversations or disclosures with colleagues can be particularly distressing or personally triggering. If you ever find yourself affected, please remember that support is always available.  Our Employee Assistance Programme (EAP) offers independent, confidential assistance 24/7, every day of the year. You can reach them anytime at 0800 028 0199.   Additionally, if needed, consider the possibility of delegating such matters to another appropriate colleague, ensuring confidentiality is fully respected.